I've always known myself to be quite a pessimistic individual.

Most of my short little life I've spent as a confused, lost little butterfly wandering here and there, not knowing which benighted path holds my ray of light.

Practically speaking, I've been confused about what to do with the rest of my life; I've gone from wanting to study engineering, to studying medicine, to I'm not sure what also. I was never successfully 100% confident with any of my choices; I wasn't able to accept my flaws and nurture my qualities. I wanted to be an engineer, but my 10th Grade Computer Engineering course just took away a handful of my percentages - and my confidence. I wanted to be a doctor - I'm horrible at science. I guess I want to have these great high-paid, high-levelled careers, only to prove my importance to everyone else around me.

Last year, after failing almost every single course - and I mean EVERY SINGLE COURSE (besides English and..some other course), I decided I would study English in University. After numerous warnings from my Guidance counsellor, I still took 2 sciences (biology & chemistry), and advanced functions (oh by the way, I'm horrible at math too!). I'm currently failing advanced functions - it's only the beginning of the year. I can already foreshadow my grades for next semester - biology: 30%, chemistry: 42%.

So I've finally come to a conclusion!!

I WILL NOT FORCE MYSELF TO TAKE ANY MORE SCIENCES OR MATHS; I will accept my flaws and love my qualities!
I WILL TAKE MORE ENGLISH COURSES, AND GET INTO AN ENGLISH PROGRAM FOR UNIVERSITY!
I WILL WORK HARD THIS YEAR SO THAT I CAN GET INTO the University of Toronto!

I will also begin to take more afterschool activities; I may not be skilled when it comes to chemistry or math or biology, but I know I could have other more practical skills (such as cooking or sewing or ..writing?). 

Last year I began learning to sew, but due to the lack of time, I had to quit.
I also have absolutely no time to write; the thing I love to do the most!
If I do more English courses (which are much easier for me), I'll have a lot more time to do the things I love to do. I'll take up sewing and writing again, and I'll get a job, I'll do all my 5 prayers and learn the Quran again, and I'll exercise and get back to looking like that pretty little ladie I once was! I WILL FIND MY HAPPiNESS!! INSHALLAH!!!!  

That's all =)

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